


liar liar

by gentlelogic



Series: fem!sides verse [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Fem!Janus, Fem!Patton - Freeform, Fem!Roman, Fem!Sides, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Patton is sad, Pre-Relationship, Stress, fem!Virgil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29634183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlelogic/pseuds/gentlelogic
Summary: Everything has changed so much and Patton can’t help but not know where she stands. She loves Roman and Roman’s been her best friend for years, but now Roman’s number one priority is Virgil. Which is fine, it’sfine. Patton is happy that Roman’s had the courage to come out and get a girlfriend who clearly adores her. Despite that, Patton still feels jealous anyway—sickeninglyalonein her misery. And jealously is an ugly emotion, so she shoves it down deep and tries to pretend it doesn’t exist.or.Patton angsts. Then she meets Janus.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Pre Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: fem!sides verse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683106
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	liar liar

Patton’s ears have been ringing for the past hour and a half while she sits at a table in the library, seven books splayed out in front of her. Only two of them are closed and put in a neat stack beside her water bottle. The other five are open on different pages, respective to the information Patton is trying to find. Her word document remains loomingly blank and the little timer ticking down the three hours until her paragraph response is due taunts her quietly.

She’s never going to pass her Into to Education class at this rate. And if she can’t even pass the _intro_ class, then perhaps she isn’t meant for this major after all. Selfish it may be, Patton wishes she could vent about it to somebody, but… but _everything_. Everything has changed so much and Patton can’t help but not know where she stands. She loves Roman and Roman’s been her best friend for years, but now Roman’s number one priority is Virgil. Which is _fine_ , it’s fine. Patton is happy that Roman’s had the courage to come out and get a girlfriend who clearly adores her. Despite that, Patton still feels jealous anyway—sickeningly _alone_ in her misery. And jealously is an ugly emotion, so she shoves it down deep and tries to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Because she doesn’t have a reason in this silly ol’ world to be jealous anyway. Virgil is awkward and edgy and sometimes uses harsh language that Patton just isn’t _used to_ , but she’s sweet and giggles at Patton’s puns. She always thanks Patton when she cooks dinner or makes breakfast or hot chocolates or buys them gifts just because she feels a little out of place like she desperately needs to contribute something to be valued. Virgil even gave Patton an awkward little side hug when Patton got a little too gloomy after she failed a quiz.

And Logan. Logan is so hard to understand, so serious and stern. Patton never knows where she stands with him; if he tolerates her or simply can’t stand her. He never laughs at her puns, just stares with this pinched look between his eyebrows, and sometimes he makes comments directed at Patton… and he probably doesn’t _mean_ them in a mean way, but they feel like little jabs at her intelligence. But Logan is also patient and kind. Patton has seen how he and Virgil interact and the way Logan is gentle when Roman is having one of her rough days. There also was that time Patton was drunk and Logan had helped her to bed and even rubbed a hand over her back while she cried about Roman.

They’re good people and Patton is being a big baby about everything. She just misses when things were simpler, when she and Roman were inseparable and it was the two of them against the world. The days she didn’t have to hide by herself in her room all day during her bad depression periods because Roman would come to stay the night with her and watch stupid romcoms and eat Oreos together.

It's cruel to miss that—because Roman was in an awful, horrible, and abusive situation. Still yet, Patton can admit to herself, at the very least, that it sucks going to her room alone and staying there for hours, looking through old pictures, tears building her eyes as she misses feeling like she mattered and belonged somewhere. Now she feels like a stranger, watching her best friend live a good and happy life that Patton doesn’t need to be a part of.

Again—jealously and bitterness are ugly emotions. Patton swallows down her tears as she minimizes the word document and looks at her desktop; a picture of her, Roman, and a puppy they’d found lost in Patton’s yard in freshman year of high school. They’re all grinning and the puppy’s tongue dangles from its mouth. Roman’s hair was awkward and messy; she was still going through the phase where she tried to brush out her curls to make them look flatter, but they just looked frizzy. Patton had her hair cut into an awkward-looking bob with baby blue streaks throughout. It was awkward but cute.

Patton physically shakes her head and forces herself to reopen the word document and type, “The.” She leans back and draws her hands over her face, glasses slipping down her nose.

“Oh, thank _God_ ,” a new voice drawls. Patton looks up in surprise as Janus, a girl from her Intro class, saunters over to the other side of the table and flops down on the chair opposite to Patton. Her shoulder-length black hair is tucked behind her ears underneath a jet-black hat. Patton can see the faint outline of a scar down her cheek that she’d tried to put some makeup over. Her striped yellow and black button-down is tucked into her high-waisted black denim pants. She looks way too put-together for it being after nine o'clock at night; Patton feels ridiculous in her oversized blue cat sweater and white leggings.

Janus continues talking as she pulls out her books from her bag as if Patton isn’t still gaping at her. “You’re in Professor Sanchez’s class, aren’t you? She’s a real _delight_.” Janus’s voice oozes sarcasm on nearly every word. “I swear, I’m going to drop the damn class if she makes one more transphobic remark that she thinks is _so_ fucking _subtle_.” Janus rolls her eyes and drops her notebook on the table then finally meets Patton’s eyes. “Christ, honey, you look _exhausted_.”

Patton blinks. “I am,” she finds herself choking out. She forces her mouth to close so Janus doesn’t think she’s an idiot who can’t close her own mouth.

“You should ask for an extension on this assignment. It’s bullshit anyway.”

Patton swallows. “I’ve been working on it for the past hour.”

“Well, let’s see what you’ve got so far. I _promise_ I won’t copy anything,” Janus says with a wink. And before Patton can protest, Janus has grabbed Patton’s laptop and turned it towards her. Janus whistles. “Wow. This is some eloquent stuff. I like the use of the word, ‘the,’ here. Very fitting.”

Patton snatches her laptop back and tries to calm her shaking hands. “And you’re doing any better?”

“No. I figure I’ll just drop the class and change my major.” Janus kicks her legs up on the table and smiles. “You gonna beg Professor Transphobe for an extension or do I have to do it for you? I will. I’m good at it. Or I can say you got hit by a car and broke both your hands so you can’t type.” Despite herself, Patton giggles.

“Lying isn’t nice.”

Janus actually pouts at that. “That’s hurtful, darling.” Patton’s face heats and Janus raises an eyebrow. “Besides, sometimes a little lie doesn’t hurt.” She takes Patton’s laptop again and before Patton can protest, Janus is opening Patton’s email app. “Professor Transphobe…”

“Please don’t call her that. To her face, at least.”

Janus smirks. “Fine. ‘Professor Sanchez, I believe I have come down with the stomach bug going around and cannot finish the paragraph response assignment tonight. Would it be alright if I hand it in this weekend, Saturday, by midnight? Thank you in advance…’” Janus looks up expectantly.

“Patton Hart.”

“’Sincerely, Patton Hart.’ I’m sending it now. Last chance to keep your morals about you.”

Patton blushes. “Go ahead and send it.”

Janus clicks the mouse and hands back the laptop. She’s smiling, looking a little gentler now. “So, let’s get these stupid books out of the way; you won’t need them until you attempt this assignment again last minute.” Patton giggles again and immediately wants to crawl in a hole when Janus meets her eyes looking thoroughly amused. Patton helps Janus stack the books then stick them in Patton’s bag.

Then, Janus tears a piece of paper from her notebook and starts scrawling something down. She folds it and hands it to Patton.

“My cellphone. If you ever need someone to lie for you again, I’m your bitch.” Janus winks and blows a kiss in Patton’s direction. “See ya later, honey.”

Patton just stares, mouth agape again as she unfolds the flip of paper robotically.

> _Janus Ire: [cell number]_
> 
> _You’re cute when you giggle._ _🐍_

[|]

Patton makes it back to the apartment right before ten-thirty and quietly makes her way through the door. She drops her bag on the little kitchen counter, then notices the TV is on at a low volume. Virgil sits on the couch, chin in her palm as she watches the screen with a small frown. Patton starts to walk over to her room when—

“Hey, Pat.”

Patton freezes.

“Hey, Virge. I’m just heading to bed.”

Virgil looks up from the TV and meets Patton’s eyes and gives her a tiny smile. “Okay. I just… uhm… You seem a little down lately. And I want you to know, ya know, if you need to talk to somebody. Well, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Even if you just wanna, like, talk shit or watch TV or whatever. Ya know.”

Patton’s heart squeezes. “Thank you.”

Virgil seems to notice the way Patton’s voice is a little choked because she smiles again, something comforting and sweet. “And Roman’s here for you too. Okay?”

Patton nods.

“Goodnight, Pat.”

“Night, Virge.”

Patton slips to her room and lays down in her bed, gathering all her stuffed animals to her chest because it’s just one of those nights.

And if she dreams about Janus, well, it’s her little secret.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. :) Life is sucking the... life out of me so I wrote this and I feel a little better.
> 
> I hope everyone is doing well.


End file.
